Image credit: Planned Parenthood, enhanced by Natalie Ford
Many of us carry shame around our genitals and struggle to call them by their real name. Rather than say vulva or vagina, we have a huge number of alternative names, such as: "down there", "lady parts", "the unspeakables", "privates", "fanny", "pussy". It demonstrates our separation from this sacred, life-birthing, pleasure-giving, quite miraculous part of our body.
Many of us mistakenly think the whole female genitalia is called a 'vagina'. In fact, a vagina is actually just the internal part - the canal, leading to the cervix & womb. The outer part is called a 'vulva' - it includes the labia (lips), clitoris, urethra (pee hole) & vaginal opening.
Calling them by their correct name is one way to start rebuilding a relationship with our genitals. Have a look at the diagram above to get familiar with what each part is called & grab a mirror to identify where each part is on your body. We are all different, so don't worry if your vulva doesn't look like the picture - as you will see on my 'Is My Yoni Normal?' page, there are MANY shapes & sizes of vulva & no such things as 'normal'!
Image credit: 'The Female Sexual Response Anatomy and Physiology of Sexual Desire, Arousal, and Orgasm in Women' by Johannes Bitzer
Here's a closer look at the vulva, labia & vaginal entrance. This diagram is really nice as it labels all the basic structures of the external female genitalia:
- Mons (fleshy part on the pubic bone)
- Two sets of labia (lips) - inner and outer
- Clitoris (which is a whole big structure by itself - see diagrams below)
- Pee hole (urethral meatus)
- Vagina entrance
- Anus (butt hole)
I love this diagram on the right because it simplifies everything! You can clearly see where our bladder, womb (uterus), vagina, perineum & back passage (rectum) are.
The whole of the blue structure at the bottom is our clitoris...yes...it really is that big! Delicious, heh?!! It's possible to experience pleasure from the WHOLE of that blue bit! The glans (head), shaft, two legs and two bulbs. It's a pleasure feast! 😁
Image credit: Alakina Mann
Because the clitoris legs sit along the labia, did you know massaging the labia can be really pleasurable? The entrance to the pee hole (urethra), anus, perineum and vagina, can all be really pleasurable too! Not to mention the g-spot, a-spot and cervix (not shown on this diagram).
Sometimes areas may not feel so pleasurable to touch initially. They might sting, hurt or feel numb. That just means you've got a bit of armour there - it's quite common.
Armour is essentially trapped energy that the body has hardened against and with some present, energetic touch and a safe space for you to feel and express your emotions, the armour can be released and pleasure can return!
Image credit & copyright: Barbara Carrellas
A clitoris is like an iceberg - most of it is hidden. It's actually as big as the palm of your hand!
In the womb, the penis and clitoris start off the same and you can clearly see in this diagram from Barbara Carrellas how similar they are. Both have a glans (head), a shaft, bulbs and legs. The whole organ is pleasure-creating, so when self-pleasure or adore another, include the full extent of these beautiful organs in your caressing!
The legs of the clitoris lie under the labia (lips), so gently massage the labia all the way from the side of clitoris down to the perineum and back up again. Repeat and vary your touch. Try gently rolling the labia in your fingers - being exceptionally careful to use light pressure until the yoni-owner asks for more.
Take your time and be fully present.
Being full present (giving your undivided attention to something) makes a HUGE difference to the experience of the receiver! And being present is a key tool in becoming a great lover. So, practise clearing your mind and giving your receiver your full focus every time you are intimate with someone (including yourself!)
The Clitoris, Bladder, vagina, Womb & Ovaries
Here is computer-generated image showing how the clitoris (the yellow part) is much bigger than it initially looks! You can see the clitoris glans (head) on the far left, then the bulbs wrapping around the urethra (left-most blue structure) and the vagina (right/central blue structure). You can also see the clitoris legs (the thin yellow line) going out to the side.
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