Pain During Love Making

26th Nov 2017

Intention: sharing with hope and desire to help others πŸ’–

In the past, sex for me was painful, often dry and something I tolerated, waiting for my partner to cum so it would be over and I could feel that my "duty" had been fulfilled.

I had very little self esteem and believed that sex was an obligation in order to keep my partner happy and - therefore - keep alive my supply of love, affection and emotional safety.

This repeated breach of my own boundaries has created a lot of issues for me. The trust between body and mind became completely broken. In fact, my entire trust of self was completely broken - and it's taken years of healing to repair this damage, but I'm finally reaching the finishing posts πŸŽ‰

I had a real "ah-ha" moment a few months back and would like to share that experience with you.

I was in a deeply loving relationship with a partner that could hold space for all the emotions that rose in me during sex as various old memories got triggered and the emotions flooded my being, ready to release.

On one occasion, we had been making love for some time and my yoni began to feel sore. She went from feeling good to feeling very tender rather quickly. In order to respect my yoni's boundary, I realised we needed to stop, but I was so much enjoying the deep connection that I felt a bit frustrated and wished my yoni could just carry on.

But I knew far too well, that I must not ignore her voice - to do that would drastically break all the trust I had worked so hard to recreate.

Just as I was about to ask my partner to stop, his movement inside me stopped and he just held me. He knew. He could feel where I was at and had intuitively stopped.

He rested inside of me and deep gratitude flooded my being. Tears poured down my face and I released huge sobs.

How grateful I was to have this man love me. To have someone so deeply in tune that he could feel when I needed to stop and someone who loved me so fully that it was never even a hint of an issue for him to do so. ❀️πŸ˜ͺ❀️

Then something amazing happened...

As my tears stopped, suddenly the pain in my yoni was gone.

I asked my partner to move slowly inside me and, sure enough, there was no more pain. My yoni felt good again! No dryness, no pain, just good as she did before the pain came.

We were able to carry on making love!! πŸŽ‰

It was such a huge transformation.

Previously, I believed the pain I got during sex was physical pain and I attributed it to soreness due to friction and lack of lubrication. I accepted it as a physical limitation.

This changed everything.

This was absolute proof that the pain was emotional...which meant it was transient and releasable! This realisation felt (and still feels) HUGE.

So...I wanted to share that if you also suffer with pain during sex, maybe you could see if there are any emotions ready to rise in that moment and allow them to release (if you feel safe enough with your partner). It's possible that the mere release of emotions may shift your pain πŸ’–πŸŒŸπŸŽ‰πŸŒŸπŸ’–

Empowered Healing​